Postpartum Depression

This is a very difficult topic to discuss, and even a year after coming out of my mental fog, I still don’t know the person I was for the first 10 months of R2’s life.

Since R2 was days old, I had guilt over my son’s birth day.  As someone who has a December birthday I understood how much of your special day is overlooked by the holiday season. I felt guilt that his first Christmas was spent on a BiliBed for jaundice.  I felt guilt that, since he was a few weeks early, that I didn’t anticipate celebrating my son’s first Christmas a matter hours after his birth.  I felt guilt that he was born late preterm. I felt guilt that I ended up needing some interventions, things that I had worked so hard to avoid.  I felt guilty because I didn’t feel the bonding I was told I would. It didn’t take long for those feelings of guilt to grow into darker thought.


Empowering Fearless Birth

Checked Into Hospitol20 months ago, a few days before Christmas I was trying to check into the hospital.  My water had been broken for 16 hours.  I was gbs+ so I knew I would need antibiotics to protect my baby from the infection, and with my waters released I knew to prevent further infections I should not have any vaginal exams.  The Gatekeeper, aka nurses’ station, told me that I couldn’t check in unless they confirmed my water had broken, since I was very much not acting like a women in labor.  The surges were coming, but I was still walking and talking through them.  I showed them a copy of my birth plan, which my ob/gyn had signed off on, stating that I did not have to have any vaginal exams.  They said without the exam they would not check me in.  I said fine, I am going to go walk around Ikea, they then told me I couldn’t leave if my water had broken- I was in the proverbial rock and a hard place.  After much discussion with my birth team, and the nurses, it was agreed upon how they could check my waters.  I had given very detailed informed consent, and even more detailed informed refusal.  The nurse ignored my informed refusal, violated me, and set me on a path that would change my life forever.


Removing the Tie that Bound – A Lip-Tie Tale Part 2

  Fast forward 6 months to my son’s semiannual dentist appointment.  During this time my son is still not eating or gaining weight.  For details see From Oversupply Donator to Supplementer.   My son loves to brush his teeth; we have to pry the toothbrushes from his hands.  He will climb on the bathroom counter and come out to me with a tube of toothpaste and a brush.  He has his teeth brushed 3 times a day; my husband’s and my tooth brushing has increased because of our son’s love of it.  I could

Removing the Tie that Bound – A Lip-Tie Tale Part 1

Breastfeeding came easy.  My son breast crawled even with the Pitocin and other drugs used during labor.   He knew how to latch and drink right away.  Our nursing sessions would last 15+ minutes from day one.  He would happily latch to one breast, and then take the other on the next meal.   My milk came in with a vengeance (You can hear about it on my other blog posts).

From Oversupply Donor to Supplementer

Due to a side effect of a medication I am on, I have lost the majority of my milk supply.  At 19 months nursing my son, this should come as a welcomed relief; I get to bypass the struggles of engorgement  that accompanies weaning, and just enjoy my toddler.  Many would say “wow still nursing at 19 months, that’s more than long enough.”

Big Latch On comes to Tooele on Aug 2nd

On the 1 – 7th of August every year, to raise awareness of the benefits of breastfeeding and the need for global support, the World Alliance for Breastfeeding Action organises World Breastfeeding Week. World Breastfeeding Week, August 1-7, is celebrated in 120 countries and marks the signing of the WHO/UNICEF document Innocenti Declaration, which lists the benefits of breastfeeding, plus global and governmental goals.